Happy Victoria Day!

Here’s some reasons to be glad we’re Canadian on this most uniquely Canadian long weekend.

Pictures That Perfectly Sum Up Canada And Its People

Canadian Police Clash With Citizens
Police In Montreal Protest A Labor Dispute By Not Wearing Their Work Pants
Christmas In Canada Is Sometimes Difficult
Canadians Are Notorious For Being Kind
Honest Commuters: Attendants Were Missing And The Automatic Gates Were Broken – This Is The Result!
Police Officer Stops To Buy A Drink From A Little Girl At A Lemonade Stand In Kenora, Ontario
Canadian Victims Of Theft
Canadian Police On The Job
Everything About This Says “Canada”
The Reason Why My Package Wasn’t dropped Off At My Door
This Moose Literally Followed Me Home
Most Canadian Thing Ever
Another Typical Sign
In Canada, Sometimes Even The Robbers Are Polite
And Meanwhile, In Canada…
Quite Possibly The Most Canadian Picture Ever Taken
Friendly warning
A Beaver On His Way To Assassinate Someone
And Lastly, In Canada…

HAPPY VICTORIA DAY, CANADA!!!

Cat vs. Dog — War Of The Diaries

This is an old one, but it’s so very true. Whoever wrote this understands the true essence of cats and dogs.

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…

My IT Career, Laid Bare

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
― Albert Einstein

Frighteningly, these are not so very far removed from the cold reality of my daily life in IT and computer support:

UnplugComputerFire


tech-support-press-1-glasburgen


'You have reached our 24-hour tech support line. Please call back at another time. We are here to serve you 24 hours, but not in a row.'


'Hello, tech support? How do I know if I'm using the latest version of the internet?'


star-fox-customer-service


funny-grumpy-cats-grumpy-cat-quotes


cookie-monster-funny-photos


'Hello tech support? When I simultaneously press CTRL, TAB, ALT, NUM Lock, and Page Up keys, my fingers hurt.'